"Truth is heavy, therefore few care to carry it."
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Life and reasoning. A letter from me to you.

Posted by Rafael on April 14, 2013 at 4:15 PM

I don’t know where to start or even how to start it but I know I must. Life, Is complicated.  Our reason for life and why we are here is foggy at best. I’ve always viewed life and humans on a scale to the likes of ants on an ant pile. We are specs in an infinite Universe and for some reason most people can never see outside of their lives long enough to fully grasp how amazing that really is. My fascination with subjects like Ufos, aliens, the universe, the paranormal, cryptozoology, biology, psychology, ancient history etc. is something I could never put into words. I am obsessed with subjects like these and it seems I will never understand why there are so few like me, and yet billions who could care less about such subjects. How is that possible? How can these things not consume the soul? I am different and I do not know why. I am in a world that values the physical and forgets the spiritual. I am in a world that rewards routines and casts out those who seek to be different and are different by the very nature that makes us what we are. True change that has come to this world has always come by that of an individual who was not afraid to think differently and let his actions reflect such. Change that has been positive in this world, has almost certainly come of a person noticing that just because something is true, does not mean it is right.I am in a world that has become cold and heartless. We are strategically desensitized as a population to accept and even expect heartless behavior. When did we become like this.  At what point in life do people give up on their dreams and accept, and fall into the routine of life. How could I ever accept that? I find that as I grow older, I am expected to dull my mind and be “just smart enough” to do jobs at hand and blend into society. Its expected of me to find a steady job with security and settle. How can I do this? How has this been done? I respect people who have done this because I know that situations others are placed in vary from place to place. Some are forced to do what they must to provide for the ones that they love. I know this is a great thing Father, and I know this is admirable but I cannot do this. I cannot live in routine. I am sure of it now more than ever. At the age of 23, I now know that I will always be unlike those around me. My life is full of people who pretend to care and listen about subjects and conversations that really maintain MY sanity. I need conversations of true merit. Conversations of why we are, who we are and why everything is the way it is. I find that society as a whole remains willfully ignorant of subjects like U.F.O’s, aliens, conspiracies etc. And that society itself alienates people who speak on those subjects and other subjects that challenge the main social perception. Know this, just because you follow the herd and blend in peacefully, does not make you a good person, it makes you sand in the desert.  Where there is nothing but sand, you should strive to be a rock.

I say that subjects like these are what maintain my sanity because I cannot accept that humans are meant to come into this world and do the same thing over and over in a trivial repetition and survive only looking forward to distractions such as mini-vacations, going on a cruise, going to the movie, shopping, going on a date etc. How can we be so blind? How can we be so small minded? It saddens me to think that this is all humans are meant to be. People like me, we are hilariously outnumbered. We are the taboo. We are conspiracy theorists and nut jobs. This blog that I write is for you. I speak you as an equal and as a friend. If you are to ever come by this, you are not alone. You are special and your mind is needed. I love you for how different you are. My life is full of people I love who will never relate to my thoughts. I have many friends who pretend to care about these types of subjects but they do it out of love for me, and for that I thank them. But I have realized as of late, that my mind and thoughts are as distant from them, as their thoughts and worries are from me. As I cannot relate to mundane life, worries and subjects, they cannot relate to my thoughts that are ever expanding and ever growing.  For this I apologize. I have been called cold and calculating at times by my loved ones but this is not because I am so, it is because I have a hard time relating. I admit I am, and have a tendency to look to the world from an observers stand point and without any emotion. But this is because I experience true clarity from that point of view. I can observe and take note of all things without any judgement whatsoever. I would imagine this is how God looks at the universe at times.  I read a quote recently, that really made an impression, “ The two most important days in your life are the day you were born and the day you find out why.” (Mark Twain.) Again this something I understood beforehand but it made an impression because I knew that I was meant to hear it. “The meaning of life is to get meaning for life” Wayne dyer.  My life is not about me, my life will be a reflection of the universe and all of its mysteries. This is the choice I make and it is one I made before I was born.

The other day I was watching one of my favorite shows, Ancient aliens. This show is great because to me it says that society is no longer afraid to speak out on things they truly care about and things they know must be true. Even though the show is a hit and miss on some theories, it is great to see change none the less.  The subjects spoken of on this show are things I’ve spent most of my life researching. My fascination for  U.F.Os started at age four when I can remember seeing “dancing stars” in the sky with my family one night. They were all in shock and very frightened but for some reason, I knew instinctively that what we saw was something amazing and something that was meant for us to see.  That night was tattooed on my mind for the rest of my life as if God sent a reminder of why I chose to be reincarnated in this life. I remember so vividly their expressions and shock about the situation. All I can do now is smile and laugh. My obsessions were pretty much kick started that day. At age 13 I began researching more into the unknown and the paranormal.  At 16 I was heavily drawn into the subjects and my personality was beginning to reflect such, as I was beginning to build a strong disconnect to the “normal world” and their problems. I maintained a connection to this world for the sake of my loved ones and again, for my sanity. (there has to be a balance between rational and irrational thought, between the physical and spiritual, the mind and the spirit, between the amazing and the mundane.)  I began meeting people, at the right place and the right times. True synchronicity began taking effect and “coincidence” was a word a soon abandoned along with any thought of the material world be a place I wanted to live in. My spirit began to long for a place I thought I had never been or could not remember. Full disconnection to this world was now coming and going on a regular basis. Day dreaming was constant and my imagination was ever flowing.  Well, back then it was called day dreaming, now its called A. D. H. D. I believe lol. What a society we live in that something so innocent and so important as imagining must be categorized and placed in a file for record keeping and treatment. That is what this world wants, to turn you into “rational” obedient workers.  George carlin spoke on this once in a comedy skit. They want you to be just smart enough to run the machines, do the paperwork, go day by day being completely and ignorantly complacent so that you don’t notice who it is that is running the world we know today.  And so after the mindless work is done, this world is filled with “wonderful” distractions for you to participate in! and with the presentation of social media, distractions have reached a whole new height.  With all things, there is the ability for good and bad, the ability to use in moderation or become addicted to. Social media is no different. It is the mother of all distractions. People have now become celebrities in their own light and with every picture “like” and post share they obtain, they’re becoming convinced that who they are as a person is defined by what society thinks of them.  Too blind and lost in their own world to chase meaning.  To obsessed with the ego and material things to remember their spirit.  “You are NOT what people think of you, You are NOT what you do (careers), and you are NOT what you have” Wayne Dyer.

I read an article that conspiracy theorists are more prone to developing suicidal tendencies. I did not disagree. This goes in to the disconnect you feel when you cannot relate to the thoughts and lifestyles of those around you. I experienced and continue to, at times, those low feelings as well. I do not disagree that my mindset is not beneficial to having a normal life. I do not disagree that those who seek truth are often lonely. But I do believe we all choose our path before we come to be. It is a lonely road and we are very far from home.. Forgive me Father. I get lost, I forget, I make mistakes. I am human. But I know that every experience I have had in this life and those of past, were absolutely necessary to get me to where I am today. So I speak to those like me today. You nut-jobs, crazies, weirdo’s, conspiracy theorists, you people who deviate from protocol and feel alone because of it, you people who took the red pill, even you off the wall conspiracy theorists who often serve as entertainment…. You are needed. Your mind is needed. You are not alone. Your search for truth and ability to see beyond yourself to something greater, is beautiful. I need you. We are few but in this case quality of mind and spirit far exceeds quantity. Be the rock amongst sand. And although it may be hard, stay true and hold steady. We are the crazy in the world of the trivial. Where originality is dead and there is nothing but sheep, your imagination is what will shape the new. We are few and we are the taboo.


A fellow Philosopher,    

                         Jonathan Rafael Santini                       



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Reply matt parish
7:41 PM on April 14, 2013 
Reply Rafael
6:08 AM on April 15, 2013 
@mattparish all of which are welcome here. Glad to meet you. Feel free to post all that interests you
Reply gabrielle
7:00 PM on April 17, 2013 
Beautifully said! And you should know you aren't alone either!!!!
Reply C
8:23 AM on July 16, 2013 
ABSOLUTELY Rafael. You are definitely and most positively NOT alone. You are just logistically challenged. LOL we ALL are sometimes. The wonderful news is that YOU have complete and total power over your situation. I telling you my dear brother, I have remembered one of the most important things about whom we are and why we are here. At least in my opinion, and seeings how THAT opinion will affect the world in one of the most profound and positive ways, I'd say my opinion matters a whole bunch. As it does NOT pertain to me alone and what I think, but rather the impact it will have on all of us as a collective conciousness. TOGETHER we can co-create that beautiful world you see. As a matter of fact. It has already begun. :) LOVE YOU. xoxoxo
Reply C
12:26 AM on April 27, 2014 
Dearest Brother. I am the HR Specialist at The Venus Project. I can assist with your placement into our organization. I know you and know that you desire this as much as I do. We need our other brother as well to join us in making this new world a reality for us all. It is exactly what we are seeking. NON humdrum, never boring, always striving to achieve what is best for ALL the world and its people not just a select few. No more keeping people down in poverty and having to work only to survive. We need you dear brother. I need you.

Write me about what you may like to do. [email protected]

I so miss you. I'm hoping you got my reply to the message I sent you yesterday. I replied back to you but it disappeared and I cannot now find it at all. :(

Ainan did not tell me he was leaving either.

So good to hear from you again Raf.


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